Something Meaningful

I read your message, it whisked me off, into memories of you.
A longing, buried for some time, the desire to return to you.
Quietly, I sit and feel each breath, let the memories whisk me to you.

The love in your eyes and the warmth of your skin,
Whisk me away into your arms once again.

I am over here, you are over there,
Simultaneously living out our lives,
Without each other to share.

I wish I could be there for you in your time of need,
Such sadness I feel for your loss, a need to take leave.

A quickening heart alerts me,
Points me in the right direction,
The direction of inquisition,
Did I make the right decision?

To stay here, to write,
To give up what we had.
Will you still be there for me,
Have I lost you, am I mad?

It's a silly question really,
We will be in our hearts forever.
The fingers long to write their story,
The soul yearns for happily ever after.

The question still remains,
it haunts me and it blames.

Stay here and write, go there and live?
The two don't seem to melt for me,
One or the other is all I have to give.

What is here for me but myself and my thoughts?
Yet upon return, most pieces of me
Are left to the wayside, they get lost
To blend the two harmoniously,
I know not.

I can't imagine my future with any other.
An ache to return, to resume it all again,
Slip back on the grid,
Come out from under cover.

There is something so intoxicating about normalcy and fitting in,
Yet when I am home, visions of escaping takes hold of me once again.

Isolated, in my bamboo prison,
Sheltered with my words and pen.

I sit alone in Thailand and wonder
How did this all begin again?

The grass is always greener, I am constantly chasing my tail,
I know not what will satiate, what will fulfill.
I dream of something all encompassing ,
Something true and something deep
Yet in life, I pick up fragments,
I live in spaces in between.

Nothing deep, I don't penetrate, A dust particle named Patricia
Floating on the surface,
Touching down but for a moment,
I slip back into a coma.

A gust, a breeze, revived again I am, by greener pastures,
Floating onwards, floating forwards, to the newest dream that I chase after.

I wish I could say I am sorry,
I wish I could say I will come home to you,
I wish I could say what the next moment will bring.

Nothing but my eternal love can I pledge,
But promises of the future I cannot give.
Inspired by you, I relentlessly persist,
This road, this journey,
This dream,
I cannot
Resist.

~I surrender to The Writing Womb~

>