Red Bull in Thailand is this bubble-less, thick, limp monstrosity; a cousin to motor oil and a sister to cocaine.
Back in Canada, it’s $2.99 a can but here it’s like $0.25 a can!!
I tend to choke one back for those kind of savings. I mean it’s like if I don’t have a Red Bull, I am actually losing money cause of the awesome savings of $2.74 each time I fuel up.
It not only gives me energy and makes every orifice quiver with delight but it also MAKES me money.
By my calculations, if I drink 10 Red Bulls a day, I will make (thinks really hard) $274.00 a day!!! I could be a little off on the math there, but not by much. This could be the best job I never had!
The lack of bubbles in the Thai formula seems to create a veritable vortex of intense desire that is directly located in my pelvic region.
The key ingredients are one drop of sweat from Chuck Norris’ nut sack and the tears from a remorseful pimp on steroids after beating one of his bitches that hasn’t paid him his money.
It’s like this drink went into a Roid Rage and took it out on all my naughty parts finishing off with a perfect round house kick to my vagina!
Ah! Who needs a man with a drink like this?
