The Full Monty

I was awoken from my beauty sleep this morning by the Coconut throwing monkey.  (Note; Upon further review, I didn’t receive any benefits from said ‘beauty’ sleep as I looked like the Elephant Man’s offspring. So far, by my calculations, you need more than 2 hours in a night to be beautiful and less than 12 but we’ll talk about that on another rant.)

This domesticated Monkey’s job is to crawl up the huge trees and throw the Coconuts down so they can be put in a truck and sold to the stores. The added benefit is the reduced risk of me being killed by falling Coconuts so I won’t have to wear a helmet as often.



I head out to my veranda and the owner greets me with a good morning Coconut, which is thoughtful and appreciated. He hardly speaks English so we just smile and pretend to understand what the other is saying…it’s a fun way to communicate and I love that I can purposely butcher the English language and get away with it.



Our grins got a lot wider when the Monkey greets me good morning with some angry looking red wood. My eyes bulged out of their sockets, eyebrows shot up through my hairline…my face said it all…I tried to change the subject;



“‘Ummm, how cute! So… how old is he?" I stammered, mimed and spoke slowly, so as to be understood…”Three? Wow!” (long awkward really really uncomfortable silence.) We were both smiling and pretending not to notice. (I must apologize! You see,  I am not a professional penis photographer so the pictures don’t really give you the Full Monty I experienced. Seriously, you are better off for my lack of technical skill. If you are a stickler for detail, then click on the pictures for enlarged view.)

You know how people use the term ‘it was like a train wreck, I just couldn’t look away’? Well they should be saying, ‘it was like a Monkey’s dick, I just couldn’t look away’ because there’s nothing more disturbing than that!

I couldn’t escape the monkey meat! It had me in it’s orbit and I couldn’t look away!   I had already committed to taking the pictures and the owner was looking rather impatient…. so there was nothing left to do but shoot them.

AWKWARD!!

And I thought last night’s rotten food photo shoot was weird!



I very rarely get embarrassed but my cheeks were as red as that Monkey’s penis!  When your day starts off like this, it’s better to go back to bed and see if you can start again in a few hours!

If I learned anything from this experience, it was the desire, as a writer, to be more like that Monkey…vulnerable, exposed, and unashamed!

~I surrender to The Writing Womb~
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